Bill her

I normally don't care about abductions or similar types of stories, mainly because crap like this happens all the time and the media just picks it up and runs around with it hysterically (as long as the woman or kid involved is white). But sometimes you just can't escape it, so I knew a few details about how hard the family, townsfolk, and police had searched, etc.

That's why the outcome made me so DHP... oopsie! Sorry guys, I didn't know my disappearance would cause such a stir... I mean, it's only a small wedding with 600 people... I just have a few issues. My bad!

No, Honey... screw you. Do you know how many man-hours and taxpayer money just got wasted on the behalf of your dumb ass? Nevermind the fact that you screwed over all the people who were going to be in and at the wedding, as well as your parents (or whoever was paying for the thing).

I don't care if they file charges, but they should present her with a bill for the whole thing... and then add something on top for punative measure.